Dr. Megha Pushkarna

Dr. Megha Pushkarna (Ph.D Psychology) is a Psychologist for the past 10 years specializes in Counseling issues related to mental well-being. She has been actively involved in Psychometric testing for children, adolescents and adults. She uses counseling using rational emotive therapy (RET) and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for overcoming mental distress as well as guidance for preventive and promotive health care.

“When the going gets tough, the tough keep teaching online”.

Faculty, General Blog, IILM University

By a total surprise, we got into lockdown, no ten-day notice, no world is coming to an end, a simple stay home stay safe alert. And from there on, came a supposedly temporary arrangement of teaching classes from zoom so that we could get over this unknown virus soon. Must admit it was so tuff, like going online for all classes, something totally unimaginable by teachers and students alike.

As all new things have a flavour of surprise, we all took the plunge and felt something different about teaching and learning from our homes. Suddenly, there was no private life, as we could bring our students to the dressy part of our house and teachers could log into their students’ private corners of the house.

Obviously, when this new normal looked like it will stay and all baking and cooking did not look fun anymore, we started getting edgy about zoom classes, scattering about attendance and participation of students in “classes”.  As Covid 19 cases started to rise, so did the pressure to continue dedicated classes and assessments, something no one had any experience with or knew how to make it look close to fair assessments.

Open book exam got a new name, in the form of online assessments and suddenly CGPA’s started blooming all over. Students who initially seemed enthusiastic to keep their cameras on slowly slipped into the mode of keeping their cameras off and when asked complained of network issues.  The world of learning and teaching was solely surviving on the speed of network connectivity as work from home and study from home became our reality.

Two years and no respite, we look to online teaching and learning to escape from growing anxiety lurking outside on streets in the name of social distancing. What was a class once filled with happy faces, dressed up in their favourites, trending the trends and catching up or bunking classes turned into no escape from online classes?

But I ask, is everything lost? Has online teaching been that bad? Well, this can be answered in many ways. Redundant old ways of teaching and rote learning found a jolt and everyone who is a part of the education system irrespective of nation and economy had to change. This change was something new and challenged a lot of beliefs of what is an academic success is and how learning can be seen besides exams.

Online learning has made it easier for students to freely access their classes, see recorded videos and go through the content to clarify doubts and grasp the subject. Resources once only available in college libraries have found comfortable outreach and sharing amongst students.

What continues to be a large concern is unstable networks, a poor economy affecting students and teachers, no protocols of ethics of online teaching and learning.

Would like to conclude by saying, pandemic took us by surprise, leaving us unsettled and then came our endeavour to be busy with classes to keep distractions at bay. Turning a new leaf in education both for educators and student’s perspective is showing fruitful results in our resolution to learn.

Really is it True- Do we all Think Alike?

Career Development (Placement), Faculty, General Blog, IILM Institute for Higher Education, IILM University

I was reading in the morning paper about how a game of Ludo saved our lives during the lockdown. The collective power of distracting ourselves from the pandemic glued people the world over to gaming. Obsession and now so much time on hand, made some people go back to board games, especially Ludo- the traditional four players’ game. Families hurdled up together for some fun time, given when they were free from their work from home schedule to enjoy each other’s company. Some took to phones and started playing ludo with friends and family near and far to play ludo on the app. It was all good fun and in essence, has taught many of us the virtues of living life. Pandemic was not only an eye-opener for so many of us who were living life in the fast lane but was also an insightful year to reflect and relax in life- we only get it once.

Ludo as explained by Wikipedia is a strategy board game for two to four players, in which the players race their four tokens from start to finish according to the rolls of a single die. Two, three, or four can play, without partnerships.

This game brings out the best in us- to win and go home and be happy or the worst- to keep killing other players’ tokens so that you can overtake them and win. A lot of animosities also stems up from those who are not interested in being killed and sent back to wait for a roll of dice to make a six and be released all over again in the game. This game is not for the weak-hearted, as only the most meticulous, careful, and fully aware player will make it first to home without a scratch.

Like others, I always begin the game hoping for my dice to show six so that my tokens will freely roam around the square of the board, only to occasionally meet threats from other players, who would be determined not to let my token take a peaceful walk by home, unscratched.

So, while I am rejoicing for my tokens and at the same time worried that other players may not harm me, I wonder, do we all play fair? Do we all think alike? Is it true that like-minded people think alike?

Thinking is a mental process of experiencing present events and making critical judgments from past experiences. Thinking is used almost every second of our living and most of the time engage in thoughtfulness without even thinking. It is like a habit you flow into without you realizing you are doing it (nail-biting for example).

We all display similar yet unique styles of thinking even though we can be characterized into personality types, yet something in our nature makes us individually unique. To explain how we think, I will bring in Sternberg’s ideology of thinking styles.

Sternberg (1988,1997) proposed his own theory of thinking styles, a theory he named the “theory of mental self-government”. He used the metaphor of mental self-government to portray how the human mind works. His theory postulated 13 different mental styles to manage our daily activities. To make it simpler, I would like to explain different mental styles with examples of players on a Ludo game and their strategies to win.

A legislative player will use his own method, not follow others, and look for winning moments but creatively.

An executive player will follow only a structured method and hopefully will not cheat.

A judicial player will evaluate other players’ moves and constantly comment in the game at them.

A monarchic player will spend all his energy on one token to safety than putting all his tokens in the game.

A hierarchic player will put all his tokens out in the game and make the most calculative moves to save his tokens.

An oligarchic player will be in a hurry to win and will move without looking in the game.

An anarchic player will go all out to win, unlike an executive, unlikely to see risk assessment of other players moves.

A global player may look like a loser in the beginning but will keep looking at the bigger picture than a quick win.

A local player will keep thinking, time-consuming player of the game, and take small steps.

An internal player is someone only playing for himself even if it is a group game, no partnership, no mercy to others.

External player unlike internal player is playing with everyone, will let others go at times than cutting their chance and putting them back in the box. He likes partnership.

A liberal player will keep changing his own strategies to surprise other players with unpredictable moves in the game.

Conservative player will be the predictable player of the game, everyone will know his moves even before he moves his tokens.

We like the players in Ludo have different thinking styles which we display in different scenarios when thinking critically and working through problem-solving. To make effective decisions, most of us jump from one thinking style to another, maybe from personal to professional concerns of decision making.

There is no one reason to explain this variation, but yes, some generalizations can be as to how skilled we are, varied past experiences, the seriousness of problem-solving, time at hand, and of course our temperament influences the way we think and from that thinking behave.

To conclude, thinking influences all facets of our life even when we are mindlessly doing something, say as simple as a board game. Interestingly, even if everyone knows how to play ludo, they will always play it differently than the last time; just like our thinking styles alike- yet different.

Impact of Personality and Behavioral Styles During Difficult Negotiations- Amitabh Mukherji MA PSY 2019-2021

Career Development (Placement), Faculty, General Blog, IILM Institute for Higher Education, IILM University, , , , ,

 

This article is a small effort to help one understand the science and art of negotiation and manage the negotiation processes. It suggests few insights of the same.

Negotiation is all about trading or in simpler terms, it is nothing but a type of deal one does while carrying out businesses. It is distinctive from other forms of decision-making. “In negotiation there is an explicit trade: I get some of what I want and you get some of what you want” (Kennedy 1994: 3). There is no negotiation in voids since negotiations conclude in decision-making. We must however seek to resolve matters by various means, including submission of others.

One exhibits traits, which makes us understand the personality. These traits incline a person to respond in certain ways. If one’s personality is stable enough then it could produce predictable responses to different negotiating situations during the dealings one carries out with different personalities. In turn it helps one to secure better negotiated outcomes.

According to the research by Rubin and Brown, two variables were identified to determine personality styles influencing negotiation skills. The two variables are: Interpersonal Orientation (IO), also known as social ability and social awareness. If one is high on IO then one is responsive to one’s relationship with the other negotiator and low IO leads to non-responsiveness. The other is, Motivational Orientation (MO), means one’s nature is competitive or co-operative. These variables thus give rise to Aggressive and Submissive personality styles.

There is always a likelihood of coming across difficult negotiators in different walks of our life. They may or may not agree with us and may seem less than enthusiastic. Because of certain behavioral traits, they could be labeled as mean, aggressive and lacking in manners.

So the question is how one should deal with such complicated negotiators? One may want to negotiate but the other person may not want to! Their version of a solution implies that either one gives in and provide them what they demand or end it there.

What we need to understand is that their mindset regarding negotiation is different. They adopt such aggressive behavior(s) while negotiating, possibly because in the past they got what they demanded and they confuse aggression with toughness, which in actuality is different.

Need of the hour then is, to sever the connection of the other negotiator’s stances of intimidation and winning. For that one needs to grab the attention, choose the same style of negotiation or a contrasting style and assert unambiguously that the other negotiator will not resort to coercion or bullying but will deal either through merit of the case or through trading.

At-times matching style could be risky as it can easily get lost amidst the haze of threats and insults. The main purpose of it is to create an impression that one does not possesses a submissive personality style and it also leaves open an alternative settlement route. Contrasting style could also be risky since being possibly read by the difficult negotiators as one being submissive.

One can adopt the following during negotiations:

  • Quiet and soft conversations.
  • Displaying warmth.
  • Unhurried discussions.
  • Do not hear; but listen.
  • Empathetic attitude.
  • Understand non-verbal cues.
  • Non-interference and patience during interruptions.
  • Non-responsiveness, if there is swearing by the other negotiator.
  • Non-argumentative, if there are personal attacks.
  • Ignoring threats.
  • Be non-defensive against ascribed motives.
  • No acrimonious action.
  • Positive responses, if there is overt demonstration of aggressiveness and deviousness from the other negotiator.
  • Display of humility along with firmness.
  • Affirmativeness to be displayed upon arriving at an agreeable solution based upon merits of the case and trading.

Adoption of the above effectively renders an assertive message of; one’s toughness during negotiations, that is based on the rationale; that unless one acquires something, the other will obtain absolutely nothing.

It can be well concluded that negotiations are a fundamental element in our social lives. One knowingly or unknowingly, always negotiates for resources and attention. Recent studies have brought out that Negotiation is both an art and science. Cognitive biases (leading to deviation from judgmental rationales), personality and behavioral styles, affect negotiations. Thus a little psychology backed science added with conversational arts can deliver success during difficult negotiations.

“Everything is negotiable. Whether or not the negotiation is easy is another thing.” Carrie Fisher

AMITABH MUKERJI- A Defence Officer who is also pursuing Masters in Psychology from IILM University..
Apart from being a Science Graduate, he has certifications and diplomas in Defence Management (Strategic Studies) and Cyber Law and is a qualified Assessor for selecting candidates for Defence Services.

Musing Minds- Student Blog- Ms. Ananya Suri MA Psychology

Uncategorized

As I sat one night brainstorming ways to do justice to this blog and introduce myself to the world of sharing musings, I channeled all of my love for psychology into a “personality type” format to kick off my journaling. I recently took the popular ’16 personality’ test online to amuse myself. It is an adaptation of the theory of psychological personality types produced by Carl Jung. It is based on 16 personality types, which Jung viewed as stereotypes. At the heart of Myers – Briggs theory are four spectrum on which one can be positioned, forming their unique personality. These are:

  • People and things (Extroversion “E”), versus ideas and information (Introversion “I”).
  • Facts and reality (Sensing “S”), versus possibilities and potential (Intuition “N”).
  • Logic and truth (Thinking “T”), versus values and relationships (Feeling “F”).
  • A lifestyle that is well-structured (Judgment “J”), versus one that goes with the flow (Perception/ Prospecting “P”)While at first I struggled with how definitive it seemed in its diagnosis and how online “personality tests” can often seem like you are reading a horoscope, I decided to be less skeptical and introspect. Isn’t it my life experiences that make me who I am? How do they put together all of my essence  into this succinct format? 

    ENFPs’ (like myself) are invigorating, independent and socially adept at navigating our worlds using an enthusiasm for exploration. This has been true for every aspect of my life. My self-esteem is driven by my ability to produce original content and come up with creative solutions. I’m inherently curious, which leaves me longing for life-changing experiences.

    During my childhood, I discovered my need for social interactions and exploration. The first pillar of my personality, extroversion (E) shone through in my formative years.

    I struggled with learning disabilities and dexterity problems as a child. Focusing in class was an uphill battle and I could be easily distracted; I found it difficult to cope with classwork and homework, and was left to deal with the same largely undiagnosed.

    Despite my struggle with academics, it didn’t hinder me from pursuing extracurricular hobbies and I focused on being a complete people’s person. All of my parents ‘couple’ friends together provided a strong childhood friends circle that I carry along with me even now, forming a family-like bond making me learn to express myself through my friendships.

    In lieu of my prospecting nature comes my passion: Psychology. The world is my playground, and I intend to explore every inch of it! My intuitive (N) side thrives while discovering the beauty of the world around us. I tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected, through a prism of emotion, compassion, and mysticism, constantly seeking deeper meaning.

    On the other hand, that same intuition has a darker side, which shows in my low score of (P). I often deal with anxiety for a multitude of reasons, some of which are hard to admit. While I love social interaction, it can leave me caring too much about what other people think of me. Sometimes I get too hung up on the smaller details and fail to see the bigger picture and my overthinking takes over all else. Although, my flaws are a part of who I am. My anxiety makes me sensitive, it drives me to be a perfectionist and want to improve constantly. I give my all to anything I put my heart to, and for that, I am thankful.

    Lastly, my feeling (F) side is evident in all my interpersonal relationships ,and brings out all the other factors of my personality even more, especially with my family.

    My parents voracious and infectious energies have given me an immense passion that I carry on within me (and it even sometimes drives my sister and me up the wall). I have always been in admiration of how they brought us up, constantly learning from their creative parenting. Our home has always been a very open and progressive household, sharing feelings, thoughts, and ideas every step of the way. No topic has been out of bounds, no conversation that couldn’t be shared among us four. Anything and everything was open to debate and all our voices rang loud and clear. There’s ‘never a dull day’ in the “Suri household”.

    Another central aspect of my life is my very loving husband. We traveled together in the same school bus, and like most pre-pubescent in 8th grade, we fell head over heels. What one would assume was childish infatuation was anything but that. I’m now married to the same boy who lived down the lane, except now he lives in the same room!  We got married very young because we could not be apart any longer and now as of 4 days back, we have even grown as a family with the addition of our tiny 2 month old dalmatian puppies!

    Through all my facets of life, I’m ever-changing, but I always choose to live deeply and happily, laughing often, loving always and never looking back. While personality tests may not be the gospel truth, they are a great ally for some reflection into our lives!

What is Toxic Empathy and How to Emotionally Protect Yourself?

Center for Emotional Intelligence, General Blog, IILM University, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is Toxic Empathy?

Toxic empathy is when a person over-identifies with someone emotions, feelings and takes them on as their own personal. Although, if the other individual’s anxiety and stress keep you from your current tasks and responsibilities, it is called toxic empathy.

Toxic empathy is when you do not just replicate and reflect another person’s emotions or feelings, you also experience and consume them. Consuming someone else’s problems can cause you to become equally overwhelmed or even more so. When you replicate another person’s emotions as your own, you make them your emotions too even though you are only empathizing or putting yourself in that person’s shoes.

People who are overly-empathetic or hyper-empathetic may gradually lose their own wants, needs as the feeling when overshadowed by another person’s emotions. These people experience others’ emotions to an extent where they lose themselves and feel the pain or negativity and in some cases positivity of another person. This diverts them from their own path and their life and onto someone else’s.

Regular over empathizing can lead to a reduced capacity of making one’s own decisions as per their best interest. They may also experience draining feelings physically and mentally since they draw away from their own feelings. People who give greater importance to others’ lives and needs above their own experience general anxiety and even mild depression at times. They don’t think of themselves often and are fully consumed by others’ sentiments they report feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness. They mostly look at situations from another person’s perspective rather than their own.

Some signs you may be experiencing toxic empathy are:

  1. Pitying others’ situations often and use it as a justification if they are mean and unpleasant towards you.
  2. Giving in to others’ demands easily and find it hard to say no or refuse.
  3. Unintentionally physically replicate another person’s stress i.e, feeling like you have a knot in your stomach, clammy hands, etc.
  4. Emotionally mirroring another individual’s pain and feeling persistent emotions of sadness and suffering for a prolonged period of time.
  5. Feeling exhausted physically and psychologically after interacting with people.
  6. Being unable to complete or fulfil your own responsibilities because you feel overwhelmed by your feelings.

Managing toxic empathy

Emotional Hijacking

Emotional hijacking is when another person’s thoughts and feelings have control over your emotions and feelings. People who have a high empathic quotient and are prone to toxic empathy may experience emotional hijacking during a process like venting. They can absorb the other’s frustrations and replicate them. To prevent this, you must observe what emotions you feel when someone is expressing their feeling to you and remain calm, relax. Composing yourself later on and relaxing gradually will allow you to release the other individual’s emotions and empathise in a healthy way.

Healthy relationships

In mutually healthy relations both parties’ emotional needs are given proportionate importance. It uses the give and take method where both parties act as listeners and speakers as well. Every healthy relationship has a well defined boundary where everyone’s needs are met and an equal amount of support is given to both individuals. Communication is key and is necessary in order to fully express and let go or relive yourself from some of the negative emotions you are feeling. Communication in a healthy relationship would make you feel heard, lighten your mood and deepen your connection with the other individual.

In a healthy relationship, boundaries are extremely important since they help you distinguish between your own needs and the other person’s needs which allows you to shield yourself from toxic empathy.

Psychologists near me

If you feel that you are always overwhelmed with your emotions, listening to others’ problems causes you to stress, seek the help of distinguished Psychologists at IILM would be happy to guide and counsel you. Our faculties can help you understand the causes and help you balance empathizing with others, managing your own emotions and forming healthy relationships.

Please feel free to write to us at megha.pushkarna@iilm.edu The distinguished Psychologists at IILM would be happy to guide and counsel you.

 

 

 

ANANYA PANDEY FROM BA YR II Batch 2019

Reforming our Education System- Student Blog (Kirti Manektala B.A(Hons)Psychology Year II)

General Blog, IILM University, , ,

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learnt in school” -Einstein

Introduction

The Indian education system is largely based on rote learning. Students focus more on memorizing the facts rather than understanding. This creates a bridge between education and knowledge. UGC even during the pandemic amidst the lockdown announced exams stating that exams are linked directly to academic credibility, career opportunities and future progress.

The question remains why are exams so important that even during the course of a pandemic which is causing a physical and a mental toll on people; UGC considers exams as an essential? Exams are built to test the rote learning capacity of a student rather than their actual conceptual understanding. In the real world, understanding the practical application is what comes in handy rather than mugged-up concepts.

Are marks so crucial for our future?

Marks still continue to be the most important factor in deciding the future of children. College cut offs, choice of streams, career choices, etc are all dependent on the marks a student score. 90% plus students choose the science stream, an 80% plus gets math, etc. The streams aren’t governed by choice but rather by 10th marks.

A 3-hour paper evaluates the individual’s potential, future and career choices. Evaluations should be based on real life skills as well as practical skills such as leadership, extra curricular, etc but rather they are based on a person’s ability to memorize provided content.

Subjects are also given different priorities for example: science students are given a priority over students with commerce or arts. Languages, communication, arts etc in the subject hierarchy are not considered as important as sciences.

Maths and science marks always determine a student’s overall capability. Students good in social sciences but lacking in math and science often find themselves condemned for their science and math marks despite their capabilities in other fields.

Similarly, students good at extracurricular such as sports, drama or dance but not above average in marks often face academic judgement.

Practical Knowledge over Rote Learning

A student’s potential to excel in subjects, academics and extracurricular often depends on their aptitude which is largely genetic. For example: a student with logical mathematical aptitude would excel in math, a student with linguistic aptitude would excel in languages and one with bodily kinaesthetic aptitude would excel in sports or dance. Education needs to be personalized according to the student’s aptitude. Similarly, our education system needs to focus on practical learning rather than rote memorization of textbook content. Students need to be taught practical applications of the knowledge provided in their books.

Media overemphasizes on excellence

Oftentimes news reporters are seen interviewing board toppers where they ask them the most basic general knowledge questions and the toppers are unable to answer the same. Similarly, reporters also interview school teachers who are unable to answer the basic general knowledge questions.

This showcases a large loophole of our education system where students are aware of what’s written in the book due to their memorization capacity but they are unaware of basic general knowledge required in real world settings.

An 18-year-old student coming out of school is incapable to engage in basic banking, healthcare, investment, etc. Students are unaware of basic necessities such as how to wire money, how to write checks, how to file FIRs, how to file a PIL, how to write actual formal letters and emails, create CVS and resumes, how to check taxes, etc which makes them incapable of dealing with real life tasks which are rather important.

Different learning styles

Every human being has varying learning styles- visual, oral, verbal, physical, logical, social and solitary i.e. everyone has different ways of acquiring information. Our education system doesn’t take into consideration the difference in learning styles.

Education system needs to be moulded according to the learning needs of each and every individual. This would increase the effectiveness of the learning provided to each and every student. Rather than focusing on group learning where every student is supposed to acquire the information in the same way, education should focus on the strengths and weaknesses of every individual.

Similarly, the assessment types are again generalized rather than subjective for example: personality types- students who are introverted often find it uncomfortable to participate in group projects or present yet every student regardless of their individual differences are boxed up into the same type of learning as well as the same types of assessment. Every learner, every individual, etc is unique and that is something which education system needs to seriously consider.

Education is a journey to development

Education is an important part of an individuals’ growth and development. To create human resources, which would actually contribute to the resource pool of the economy we need to reconsider our methods of teaching. Adding technology to the equation doesn’t resolve the outdatedness of our education system. It is important that as we evolve our education system also evolves. It is important that education considers neuroscience, cognitive psychology and education psychology and creates a framework which is effective.

Conclusion

Education should focus on growth but shouldn’t create pressure. We need to consider where we are going wrong. Change is the only constant and our education system needs some serious change.  What are your views on the Indian Education System and how do you think National Education Policy 2020 would help in bridging the gap between education and employability?

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. – Einstein

https://blog.iilm.edu/kya-result-aaya-boards-2020/

A HEALTHY MIND IS THE GREATEST TREASURE TO FIND (Student Blog B.A. Hons. Psychology)

General Blog, IILM Institute for Higher Education, IILM University, Uncategorized, , , ,

 

Conversations around mental health have always been a taboo in our Indian society. It has been related to how a person might be possessed or simply is dysfunctional to be ever cured; thus not be able to work in an environment to sustain oneself. People in our country are struggling with varied psychological issues that have a direct impact on their overall well-being. There is a tremendous mental health crisis that has been brewing in our society ever since 2015. The problem is aggravated as people believe that mental health issues can be cured by visiting religious centres where God is the only source of direction and solution to cure such problems. Even today, such belief systems have a found place in people’s life which is quite far off from logic and rationality.

Rural areas perceive mental illness very differently. They consider mental illness equal, to be possessed by some evil soul under which individuals facing problems are many times handled quite harshly which leaves a long lasting impact on their mental health & well being. Many times patients whose families are totally unaware of their condition end up abandoning their family members considering them mentally unfit, which leaves a long lasting scar in the life of the suffering person. Lack of mental health awareness has many a time led people from backward areas to a wrong diagnosis which worsens the mental condition of the person, leaving him in a situation where they may have no door to knock.

There is a great need to create awareness about mental health in rural areas, as compared to the urban sector where acceptance and initiative for treatment has taken a positive turn over the years, where mental illness is not seen or considered a taboo to talk and discuss.

Cases of mental illness in urban areas are increasing as people face daily pressures in work and personal lives. Working hours that go beyond the schedule of 9-5, has left people with no time for themselves. Ambitions have over-taken the need for personal care, healthy diet, appropriate sleep and even family time has been compromised giving an open entry to multiple mental health related issues.

Addressing mental health is very important. Once we understand and open up about our struggles we would be in a position to see what awaits us. Living with stress is equal to letting a cancer slowly but steadily grow to eventually harm us one day. Opening up about one’s feeling, emotions, physical symptoms, or lifestyle can be a great start. This will bring focus on the prospects of managing one’s well being. It is like healing a wound which might initially seem quite painful, but with the right diagnosis can cure you to be your wholesome self again pretty soon. The more one explores, the better one feels about his/her mental health condition. Just accepting one’s problem, living with it and not taking corrective action is not a good idea.

One must be very careful, attentive and address any problem they might face. Some symptoms are:

  • Confused thinking.
  • Prolonged depression (sadness or irritability)
  • Feelings of extreme highs and lows.
  • Excessive fears, worries, and anxieties.
  • Social withdrawal.
  • Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits.
  • Strong feelings of anger.
  • Strange thoughts (delusions)

It is imperative for a person to seek the help of a professional psychologist, and get the right treatment. People should be made more aware of what mental illness is, through campaigns and workshops.

The first step should be taken by schools to create awareness amongst children and adults of all age groups explaining that “it’s okay not to be okay” and that it’s absolutely normal for boys to cry and experience emotions like pain. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Dedicated counsellors and special educators should be hired in schools, to help people know about mental health issues. Workshops for teachers, parents, and students can be organised to understand how to deal with stress and day- to-day pressures of life. Talking to a therapist should be emphasized upon.

In the end, always remember that mental health issues are never something to be ashamed of. Only when awareness increases in society, will we be able help each other in times of stress and emotional instability because as the saying goes – a healthy mind is the greatest treasure to find.

At IILM University, our Psychology faculty members are trained psychologists and you are welcome to reach out to us for free counselling sessions. Please visit www.iilm.edu.

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close

“Kya Result Aaya?” #Boards 2020

Campus Life, Career Development (Placement), General Blog, IILM Institute for Higher Education, IILM University, Uncategorized, , , , , ,

Introduction:

Board results are the quintessential discussion for parents and students which also becomes the most discussed topic amongst family. Unfortunately, it’s marking a child’s future with the percentage for the rest of their lives and not to mention labelling them.

The amount of pressure that board classes bring with them has been accounted in various studies, clearly signifying, inverse correlation of stress and marks in board exams, even though we continue to pressurize students to attain, at times, the impossible.

Expectations (from parents, teachers, peer and self) may crumble the self-esteem, as well as performance in boards and can have devastating effects on students and their career options.

100% Board results-2020

In 2019, as many as 17,693 students scored more than 95% in CBSE XII and the numbers increased to 38,686 students in 2020. Board results 2020 have raised the bar for students, who will be giving exams from here on. To compete with 100% marks can have challenges in plenty. Not to downsize the student who made that effort and actually got those brilliant marks; the discussion is about students who got a distinction (above 75%) and still feel “not good enough”.

This unfortunate inadequacy of “could get better marks” is a dilemma any student scoring marks from 70-90% category feels, especially when the choice of subjects in a prestigious university looks bleak. Not that the ones who make it over 90% waltz through the top universities. They also struggle and at some point “have to compromise” on the course or a college.

Can you accept your marks and not label it as destiny?

My observation while looking at board results- Yes, it is the highlight of your life and will be compared in galore with cousins, friends and any known person who got better marks than you. However, could we stop putting the blame on either teachers, Corona or pressure from known and accept what we scored gracefully?

Can we find jubilance in clearing class XII and being ready for applying in colleges rather than whining of what could happen if we scored better? Acceptance of board results brings inner peace and reduces comparisons which clearly isn’t helpful. I believe board results don’t shape your destiny and that only if you are ready to believe in yourself, can life offer opportunities for you to carve out the best in self.

If we can make a reality check and be honest with oneself, as to what are the strengths and to work on them, we may find our success, even if it feels inadequate to others. The key to convince parents and friends is when you, yourself can accept what you want to do, or reach out for counselling, if unable to make career choices.

Try reducing those mountains of expectation or mirages of “what I should be” to “what I can be” for a better career path and at the same time enjoy the journey of becoming your own person.

Experience the “Joy in Learning at IILM”

With newer opportunities coming up every day like School of Humanities at IILM University, Gurugram, we encourage students from varied fields to open their minds to choose a trending subject and experience the joy in learning. With latest pedagogy in teaching, faculties at IILM strive to help students create a niche for themselves and prepare themselves for better career opportunities.

Conclusion:

Board results could have brought tears of joy or disappointment given what you were expecting and what was received as results. See this as an opportunity to explore and search what and where you want to take your college education. Comparisons and expectations can be hurtful, so try avoiding them by focusing on “what you think you want” than “what you should be”.

 

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try”

Personality Traits in Mahabharata and the Ocean Model

Campus Life, Center for Emotional Intelligence, Faculty, General Blog, IILM University, , , , , , ,

Introduction:

While going about our usual day we interact with people, judge their personality as to how they are different from us and at times compromise  with the changing facets of their personalities without even thinking. We unknowingly almost like an automatic response form opinion about people depending on their overt behavioural responses.

Why we do this? Because we humans are wired for curiosity to know more about our environment aWhy we do this? Because we humans are wired for curiosity to know more about our environment and the people we live with. Like when we notice someone at a party surrounded by a large group of people, obviously the centre of attention, chatting and laughing; we may conclude that person is an extrovert.

So, how do we understand personality?

While studying personality we assume that personality characteristics are relatively stable over time and that traits show stability across situations. For example, someone who is described as an extrovert may be very outgoing and chatty at a party but less so in a conference. In both situations, they are likely to be more sociable than an introvert person. We also assume that personality traits influence behaviour. The person is outgoing and chatty because they are an extrovert.

At IILM, we offer courses in personality to undergraduate courses to help them discover themselves as well as understand our basic individual differences.

Personality and its spectrum

Cattell (1965) defined personality as being the characteristics of the individual that allows prediction of how they will behave in a given situation. Psychologists increasingly agree that five super traits may adequately describe the structure of personality.

Costa and McCrae (1992), who measured personality with their OCEAN model represents a continuum along which individuals can be explained in terms of their traits.  For a better understanding of these traits, the following is my explanation of how characters and their personalities were depicted from Mahabharat.

Characters from Mahabharat to explain OCEAN Model:

At IILM the curriculum is an interesting blend of science and mythology. I will explain how we teach traits to our Psychology students with the help of characters from Mahabharat.

OPENNESS – This factor refers to the individual having an openness to new experiences and an active imagination.

Karna was seen to be high on this scale as throughout the epic he justified his never-say-die attitude and courageously confronted all the odds of his destiny. His character in Mahabharata has everlasting fame because he teaches how can one present himself better than the destiny and accomplish everything with shatterproof determination. Bhima was seen low on this scale as he was conventionally oriented towards a particular goal that is of being the mightiest warrior.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS– This factor describes our degree of self-discipline and control. Yudhishthira was high on this scale; was hard-working, organized, goal-driven whereas Shakuni was seen to be low on this scale as he is the person who poisoned the mind of his explosive nephew Duryodhana and fuelled-up the destructive war of Mahabharata, thus becoming the cause of the destruction of the Kauravas.

EXTRAVERSION – This factor is a measure of the individual’s sociability, energetic, optimistic, friendly and assertive.

Krishna was high on this scale as he attempted to navigate negotiations between the Pandavas and Kurus before the Kurukshetra war even happened. He convinced Balarama to not partake in the war itself. He even tried to get Karna to fight for the Pandavas as well. Sahadeva was shown to be low on extroversion, even though as the wisest of all the Pandava brothers he mostly kept to himself reading Vedas, spoke less and followed mostly what his elder brothers decided upon him.

AGREEABLENESS – This factor relates to the characteristics of social interaction. Individuals with high scores are trusting, helpful, soft-hearted and sympathetic.

Bhishma was high on this scale as his peerless statesmanship to be the mediator between the Kauravas and Pandavas and other impeccable characteristics still inspire his ardent followers across the world. Dronacharya was low on this scale as he discriminated against Karna and Eklavya on the basis of their caste. He did not voice out any objection in the court during Draupadi’s assault.

NEUROTICISM – This factor measures an individual’s emotional stability and personal adjustment. Duryodhana is seen to be high on this scale as he is motivated by greed, jealously, and a desire for retribution. Yudhishthira was low on this scale as he is calm, even-tempered, secure and happy.

Is there a situational difference when we portray our personality?

Psychologists explain this by segregating personality into a private and public persona. Private being the ‘real’ inner person, while public is the way that the individual presents themselves to the outside world. We may be confident and outgoing in some situations and less sure of ourselves and more retiring in other situations. A case where a shy reserved person joins an organisation but eventually becomes an arrogant and stubborn boss. This fits the explanation of how our personalities differ situationally.

Conclusion:

As much as individuals behave differently in different situations, our behavioural reactions can be clubbed into traits as similar reactions across age and cultures. To conclude, we can say that each one us is uniquely different yet distinctively similar as well.

 

“Personality is a mask we believe in”

Dr White

 

Psychology and Your Future in India

Career Development (Placement), General Blog, IILM University, , , ,

Introduction

Today’s disruptive changes have made Psychology one of the most sought-after careers. The demand and supply chain in Psychology will help overcome obstacles in personal and professional lives in the future. Our fast-paced lives, demanding jobs and complicated family dynamics are making mental health a prime issue of survival in the 21st century.

Countries across the globe are looking at making mental health equally imperative and vital as physical health. Therefore, the role of psychologists in future will become as crucial as our medical workers. Simply put, we may take medicine for any physiological ailment, but what about societal, global pressures coupled with tragedies? There is no known medicine to handle all that, hence Psychology becomes crucial as a subject to be pursued.

Psychology as a subject and its specializations

Psychology has been an undercurrent in any field offering a myriad of opportunities. IILM University, which is considered one of the best colleges in Delhi/NCR for Psychology provides components of the following in the course as fusion in undergraduate as well as specialization in masters.

Clinical Psychology: Anyone who has been a student of Psychology has been amazed by abnormal psychology and at least once aspired to become a clinical Psychologist. Facets such as diagnosis, understanding and management of disorders while working in hospitals, rehabilitation centres come under this. Given the emotional pressures people go through, the demand for good clinical psychologists is expected to rise. We hear and see many celebrities openly discussing their mental health and concerns. This trend has increased awareness and acceptance towards disorders and with time the need for experts in clinical psychology is only expected to grow.

Counselling Psychology: Counselling is like a second skin to any Psychologist as it deals with facing day-to-day scenarios and its management. Counselling being a broader term branch into career guidance, marital and academic. Counselling Psychologists are seen working in private set-ups, career centres, schools, NGOs and organizations. Today, it is required across all walks of life, and the need for it will only continue to grow. At IILM, we invite guest lectures as well as electives in CBT/REBT for Psychology students.

Organizational/Industrial Psychology: Psychologists in this field focus on workplace issues at the individual, group and organizational levels to enhance the productivity of the employees and ultimately the organization. As more and more MNC’s are paying attention to the mental health of their employees, Psychologists with I/OB specialization are working in HR as consultants/managers and are assessing emotional, social intelligence and performance in the employees.

Developmental/Child Psychology: This field works with lifetime development of human beings focusing on psychomotor, cognitive, as well as emotional development from early years. Popularly known as Child Psychologists they work mainly with children in therapy centres, schools, paediatric setups, NGO’s with close association with special educators and psychiatrists.

Sports Psychology: This is a fairly new branch that works with athletes’ physical and cognitive performance along with coaches, nutritionists as well as physiotherapists. Sports Psychologists endeavours to help sports teams to increase performance and motivation of sportsmen. India being a sports passionate country, this field has a lot of scope as a career.

Forensic Psychology: This branch deals with legal and judicial systems and is closely related to criminology. At IILM we help B.A students, enhance their understanding of laws in India while offering Law as an elective course.

Military Psychology: This is yet another contemporary branch of specialization dealing with military personnel and their families. Concerns such as depression, anxiety, grief as well as stress-related issues are taken care of by evaluations and treatment of mental and emotional disorders along with counselling. Psychologists are routinely hired in forces and are doing extensive research and policy-related work.

How to pursue Psychology as a budding career?

In India, we can pursue Psychology from graduation level (Psychology as a subject in Class XI & XII is preferred) and then pursue a B.A. / B.Sc. programme in Psychology. Master’s programme in Psychology is mandatory for seeking a career as a Counsellor as well as to apply for a job. M.Phil. is important to practice as a clinical psychologist and may accompany it with diploma courses in any therapeutic work (cognitive behaviour, rational emotive, career guidance, etc.) IILM University offers BA (Hons) as well as MA Psychology with specialization in counselling and organization behaviour.

Conclusion

Psychology as science finds applications in all walks of life. Psychology presents immense career options in the present times and will hold promising opportunities in the future as well.

“The best way to predict your future is to create it”

Abraham Lincoln